Are you a “nice” Nepali girl?

roti1

November 9, 2016 •WOMEN •Author:

We all know that there is a huge gender inequality that exists in Nepal.

The Nepali girls are always told to behave properly or to be nice. They are always told to do certain things in a certain way because they are nice/good girls. But what does it mean to be a nice Nepali girl? Does that mean we follow everything others say or does it mean we follow the social norms? What exactly is the definition of being a nice girl? It may sound repetitive but I desperately want to go back in time and ask people who made and set these rules. So I have created a list of things that would probably make one a good girl.

Disclaimer: If you don’t tick all the boxes from the list below, I am sorry but you probably aren’t as much of a miss goody as you think you are.

Dress up:

No short skirts/dresses. If you do wear them, I am sorry but you automatically qualify as a bad girl. Dressing sensibly is one thing and I do agree that you should dress accordingly. But having said that, I think it should be a personal choice as per what one wants to wear. Is a nice Nepali girl a girl who’s extremely conservative in her ways? As far as wardrobe goes, she’s constantly covering up and wearing things that are home appropriate, you would say. It is beyond my understanding how Saree is deemed absolutely appropriate and traditional but cropped tops aren’t when they both expose the same part of our body. I mean, WHAT is the logic behind it? So, let no one judge your character by what you wear.

Round Rotis:

I mean, come on! Does it have to be round? Sure it looks good and all but does it taste any different to the ones that aren’t as round? Since when is the round shape the perfect one? I mean, I am pretty much a round person, and when I say round is a shape too no one laughs at that joke. And no one calls me pretty for being round, but when it comes to roti round is the perfect shape. I am sure people who know me personally, are reading this and thinking, “She is saying all this because she is so bad at making round rotis” and you are absolutely right my dear ones. I am crap at it. So does that make me a not so nice Nepali girl?

Nepali girl do not Party or Going out?

I know it is always good to be home on time and not go out all the time but if our society completely supports the boys going out and socializing, why are they so skeptical about girls doing it? Is a good girl the one who doesn’t drink or party, and she doesn’t do any of that stuff? I am a woman with a career, and I have to socialize a lot. Networking is the key to having a successful career and it is equally important for both men and women. If a guy stays at work till late, he is deemed as a hard working person who is very serious about his career, but if a woman does the same she is said to have no responsibility towards her home life at all.

Agreeing to everything everyone says! I am not saying you will have zero say but normally if you are deemed as a good girl you are expected to agree on things your family and friends say. You must not go against anyone, and if you do, you probably aren’t as much of a good girl as you think you are.

Have no opinion, or maybe have some opinion but do or say what others want you to, anyway. You can think of something you want to do, but too bad you are a good girl. It is assumed that you have no opinion of your own and will eventually do what they think is good for you.

The way you TALK!

What I mean by this is that you don’t reply back. Nope, you don’t. No matter what the elder person is saying to you, it could be something completely against your value but it doesn’t matter. You just sit there and agree to it. Ok, maybe you don’t agree with it, but you don’t reply back. If you do that, my friend, it will make you a bad girl.

A letter from one bi-curious girl to another

NO  Boyfriend!

Yup, the biggest “Oh no, she didn’t!” We are always told that any kind of interaction with the opposite sex is bad and will bring shame to the family. People want to control every single aspect of their child’s life because they think that they know what is best for their child. And they probably do. But if you, as a parent, think that your daughter is ready to get married and is responsible enough to pick a guy from your selection of candidates, I am sure she is mature enough to choose someone good enough for herself. How does choosing a life-partner, the person YOU will be spending your entire life with, make you a bad person? But who am I to say anything, I am already a bad girl in this case. Guilty as charged!

Although we have the funniest thing going around, trust me there is nothing more I would wish to be than being a Nepali. I love my country, and I am proud of who I am. I do or write (in this case) in the hopes of making life better for someone who is not as privileged or lucky as I am. I have a very understanding family and I get all the support I need but it is not the case for everyone. So I am doing this to raise awareness (and in some cases eyebrows) for those who aren’t as fortunate. I hope to get all the support I need to make it better for someone who is desperately in need.

Thank you for reading my rants and I hope you have a good day wherever you are.

Do good, be good!

P.S. The picture above is of a round roti my sister made, please feel free to judge her character by looking at it.

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