With a quarter of the crowd yelling “Love Yourself”, the other quarter yelling “As if I don’t!” and the rest clueless about the “Self-Love Revolution”, as almost everything, we seem to have gotten it backwards when it comes to self-love. Self-love isn’t splurging on stuff, then more stuff, self-love isn’t eating, followed by more eating, or going on a vacation, then more vacations, neither is self-love spending a whole month’s earning bucketed on coconut oils, organic skin cleanser and Oolong green tea.
Self-love, actually, is taking care of yourself, as if you were someone you cared about and wanted the best for, in the long run. Detaching from the child within you that wants more of comforts and less of pain; the child who would sacrifice what would actually be good in the long run for temporary joy. Self-love is looking at them as if a good parent would, judging (it isn’t a bad word, just badly associated) what would be best for them, for their growth, for them to flourish in the world built around them.
That is not the same as spending on organic stuff; because, if we truly cared for ourselves, we’d totally hesitate to spend more than we can afford. Well if you can afford to sustain the lifestyle, go ahead, why not?
It isn’t stuffing ourselves with food or clothes we want, then having to pay that dearly down the line; I mean, would you let your child eat more than they should just to be unhealthy few years down the line, unable to function or be judged by bullies in their class? I know I wouldn’t (I have been bullied, and trust me, it isn’t rainbows and sunshine); would you spend all your savings on your child’s grandiose wishes of new clothes and toys, then be unable to buy them new ones for the whole next year or even feed them as you wish they’d be fed? I know I wouldn’t. Would you let your child be dull, lazy on memes and video games if nothing would come out of it? I know I shouldn’t.
It is said, self-love is about feeling good, which is true. But, would you not want your child to feel good today and tomorrow and the next day and the next year and all their lives?
Thus, loving yourself isn’t letting yourself be “a good for nothing” lazy bum who demands love, and loving yourself for that; try that with a good parent figure and see where it gets you. Caring means caring enough to put yourself on the right path when you tend to strand off and rewarding yourself when you tend to do good.
Let your child make the correct sacrifices, correct investment, of their effort and time on developing themselves through books, intellectual videos, working out, sticking to a good thing be it diet or relationships, sticking to their word and surrounding themselves with people and things that are actually good for them and not toxic.
Treat yourself as if you were your child you truly cared about and wanted the best for. Teach yourself the arts that would be useful in your venture into the world. Teach yourself the reality of life, not just comforts of illusion. Train yourself in strength, intellect, sociability, wisdom; arm yourself with the truth.And most of all, take care.❤