Because no one will read this anyways-
I miss you.
Every cell in my body forces me to deny the longings that I have for you. Sometimes, I wish to grab the phone and dial your number. I want to scream at you, without even hearing your ‘Hello’. Scream at you, for leaving me alone, in the middle-of-nowhere. I want to verbally pour my heart out and tell you about every ounce of void I am feeling.
I take my phone out and put it back, for I no longer want to be vocal about my feelings. As I no longer want you to judge me for being so vulnerable and fragile.
All my life, I wanted to be a person with a beautiful soul. I can’t explain how overwhelmed I was when you complimented me for having a beautiful soul. That’s the best compliment I had ever received. And I too felt the beautiful soul, my beautiful soul, twirling in glee within me. It was a feeling of boundless happiness and I let go of all my flaws and insecurities, then and there.
But, I miss that ‘me‘ when I was with you. I miss being able to express my feelings in so much detail and vagueness at the same time. Many a times, I could not put my feelings into words and it was amusing how you joined the dots and figured it out yourself.
I miss being appreciated for my poetry. How you praised my works and made me feel like the modern day ‘William Shakespeare’. Every time you said you re-read it and found it beautiful, you encouraged me to push myself harder and write even better the next time.
I know I have lost you somewhere. And I’m unsure if I will ever find you. Unsure if I can find the path that will again lead me to you.
In any case, I miss you. I miss having someone to listen to and talk to for hours. Miss that feeling even though I often felt dumb for not understanding your theories and thoughts. I miss having a friend. And I am unsure if this feeling will ever change or stay the same. I am unsure if our paths will ever cross again.
But if one day we ever cross paths, will you reassure me of the beautiful soul I have, ever again?