Yesterday was the biggest day of my life…I got hitched!! Crazy, right?
It all started about two months ago when my family found a perfect suitor for me. The first time I saw her, it was like magic. She was so beautiful. Just watching her laugh with my whole family made me realize how perfect everything was. I was so happy I almost dropped the cup of tea I was serving her, silly me!
Of course, we were given a few minutes to talk and test the waters. “You look more handsome than in the picture I saw” were her words.. ahh the ice breaker!!! Just then and there, I knew it was meant to be. We went on a couple of dates after that and here we are now… MARRIED!!
Now, let’s talk about the wedding. Man, it was just too exhausting! I sat in front of the fire all day with my head down… my neck still hurts!! Every time I dared to put my head up, I was told to plaster a smile on my face… my cheeks still hurt from smiling. There were times when I wanted to hold my head high and let loose but then my mom’s words would echo in my head, “No one wants a rebellious son in law.”
After beating the heat, hunger, and pain on my back, neck, and everywhere else I can think of, I was looking forward to the day coming to an end. Then it hit me… it was time to say goodbye to the fam! I will be honest with you guys, it sucked!!! My mom was bawling her eyes, my dad was fighting back tears and me — I am not even sure if the tears were from exhaustion, sadness or happiness. It was rough!
As I was helped into the car to leave, I saw my wifey waiting for me and it all seemed to be worth it after all. She smiled at me and handed me a hankie and boy, did my heart melt? Awhh! more tears! You would think this was the end of the drama, but I have more.. keep reading! ?
We make it to my wife’s place where I was ushered to our bedroom. As the thought was crossing my mind that I could finally relax and let loose, I heard loud giggles coming from the hallway. Before I could process it all, there was a herd of gents in my room to help me get dressed.“For what?” I almost said it out loud, and then my mom’s words echoed again!
I got dressed, bonded with a few gents and then it was time to meet my wifey’s relatives. There were her neighbors, uncles, aunts, kids, dogs, I don’t even remember half of the faces I smiled at or feet I touched with my forehead. After what felt like an eternity, it was finally over! Thank the sweet lord!
I was ushered to the bedroom again but with my wifey this time (yay!) and yes, it was really just us-time. I was beyond exhausted at this point and was hoping for the night to be over so I could just sleep.
I checked the time and tears almost trickled down my cheeks… IT WAS MIDNIGHT!!! I had to be up in five hours and make tea for everyone. Saying, “I am screwed” would have been an understatement at that point.
As I lay down on my side of the bed (I hoped?) my wife held my hand. And then my best friend’s words started ringing in my ears, “You have to ‘do it’ on the wedding night.” Oh the infamous ‘suhag raat,’ how could I have forgotten?!
“I am too tired, I think we should go to sleep.” As my wife said those words, I gave out a huge sigh of relief and almost kissed her face (how ungentlemanly, I know!)
Now we are all caught up and in the present—day after wedding
I have been awake for five hours already and it’s only 10 AM. Can you imagine? My brain hurts!!! The whole morning was spent touching feet with my head, I don’t even know their names or who they are. The most frustrating part of it all, I don’t know where my wife is. I left my home and my family for her and all I have been doing is touching feet and serving tea.. this life!!! My wife is hanging out with the ladies.. all the time!!! What could be more important to her than her husband?
I am now waiting for her to calm me down as I am about to lose my shit! She is the only person here that I know well enough. Why do I have to make small talk with all these uncles? What is this baby doing on my lap?! I don’t even like babies!! But I have to pretend to like it all and smile all the time. I miss my dad!!! Or do I? He is the one who sent me here in the first place promising this will be the most beautiful thing that will ever happen to me.
Someone just whispered in my ear that I need to go and get ready for the reception. Oh, I almost forgot about that! Another evening of putting my head down and smiling until my cheeks hurt.
“Get through a few more days and the rest of your life will be a piece of cake,” I remember one of my uncles telling me.
I plaster a fake smile on my face and head to the bedroom to get dressed.
Side Note: I hope you caught the sarcasm!
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