Yes they do. Should I feel guilty for saying yes, physical appearances matter?
No. It’s not like as if we have been a better person while choosing who to love, as if we have looked beyond looks, as if it was never more than just what they put on and appear to be on the surface, as if we regarded the depth of good qualities they had. Shouldn’t we all be guilty in one way or the other?
Our choices, however, lie deeper than in mere judgements of what the other person looks like. While choosing someone, we tend to have preconceived images of what beautiful is, and maybe it is more or less distorted by what it should be. Aesthetics, no matter what you say, draws the eyes darling.
Psychologically, we are drawn towards what feels familiar, not what we ‘feel’ is right. A strong female feels drawn towards the familiar type of ‘divine’ masculine energy men portray into your world. Such energy maybe bits of someone who has influenced you or maybe you have looked up to, subconsciously drawing a picture of what an ideal man would be for you.
The idea may come from your father, brother, uncle, or maybe even a picture drawn from our imagination of media personalities and rock stars; what their vibe feels like or their physical appearances. This, is also highly influenced by the world around us. Influenced by what our friends and the world around us worship as ideals.
Besides, from an evolutionary perspective too, we are drawn towards the aesthetically ‘fit’, not just because of the influence. We tend to look for the perfect mate to carry our DNA forward and for survival of our species as a whole. Humans probably wouldn’t have survived if it weren’t for our selective mechanism.
Those considered ‘beautiful’ and ‘fit’ naturally have better chances at selection and survival. Thus, we tend to feel drawn towards our pictured perception of beautiful, good looking and fit. However, what I consider beautiful may not be the same for you; it is almost always different for everyone.
Yet, as cliché it may sound, some of the characteristics are, on average, more preferred than others. They have somewhat become the ‘standard’ of beauty. The definition of beauty varies according to the place we are from, how we grew up, what influenced us, what the society we come from looks up to, etc. But sometimes, what’s beautiful is undoubtedly beautiful for all, and not just in the eye of the beholder. .
So physical appearances, along with personality and vibes, matter. It matters more than we think it does, it’s not about right or wrong, it just is.
Having said that, you search for what you find attractive and what would be best for you. ‘Cause if you only chase after what’s attractive, there’s a high chance you’ll end up with an asshole. They will not touch your core with their beauty, you will soon feel something is missing, maybe, a spark?