The Letting Go!
I know I asked for it. I am sorry that I couldn’t speak a word and that you looked at me like a man who lost the ability to think and finally left, I was afraid. I was afraid to lose myself and with the What If’s in my mind, I wasn’t ready for love. Someday, You will find someone who’ll give you real efforts without any condition.
But for now, Just know,
-We are different.
You’re sharp and always ready for a roller coaster and I drain quickly. I rely on routines. I need quiet times to keep my sanity while you long for the exact opposite to recuperate. You soak up the atmosphere all in yourself like a sponge and me? Well, I barely exist. I ain’t normally like this, but with you, I question myself. The fact that You couldn’t be yourself when you’re with me feels like brutally ripping off a bandage. Yes, You have this power on me and I cannot comprehend this emotion.
And, When you say you love me, your words wrap around my throat, suffocating me. My days are just like any other days, but with you in it,
It is the mixture of vulnerability, overwhelming feelings that just don’t vaporize.
I know you wanted nothing but to love me. But, darling, It doesn’t feel quite right when we both consent to do each other things. Like the pizza slice, we both want to have the last bite of but we wait for others to eat. How long could we have given up our desires? I see my world from the window view.
This haziness always exists between us, that sometimes I wish I could break that than watch you through the tinted glass. But your world is outside the window.
I never thought I’d know to let go of someone so loving.
– You were talking, Probably. I couldn’t tell coz my mind was barely there. A feeling sank in and I knew this is the time to let you know You and I can’t be “we”. It wasn’t the best realization but I tried to swallow the pain that hit me hard in the gut.
I see you there again looking handsome in the denim on the same riverside.
For a moment I wanted to let my guard down but I am cautious and maybe you are not mine to keep anymore. The river water was all shiny and your reflection made it so pure, although the river has changed its course, Just like we changed ours.
I know I asked for it.